How Not To Be A Doormat

The Quill Pen Pal (Renew You!)

Many people suffer from doormat syndrome and never even realize it. Being a doormat is not intentional; things just seem to go in that direction for certain individuals. Because these individuals are often so giving, they are constantly taken advantage of. Does this sound familiar to you? If so, then you need to transform your overall situation for the better.

First, honestly appraise yourself and make a list of the people and types of situations that threaten, intimidate or make you feel inferior. Then review each one and determine what it is about that person or situation that generates those feelings. Attempt to analyze and resolve each issue separately instead of just viewing the entire list as an unsolvable dilemma.

Next, realize that you are a unique person with value. Break free from preconceived notions that you may have about yourself based on what other people say, what other people have said, or what you think they are saying. None of these matter and quite possibly may be something that you yourself have projected into your own mind.

You don't have to give a "yes" answer to everything asked of you. Remind yourself that it's quite all right to say "no" to someone if it interferes with your beliefs, morals or life. If it takes too much effort and Ieaves you feeling frustrated, then it's not right! Submission to harmful or incorrect behavior serves only to reinforce and condone those actions from others.

Just be true to yourself and your beliefs and offer resistance when they are threatened. No one individual or group has the right to make unkind or unreasonable demands on your time, values and resources–so let them know that. But tell them gently without being harsh. Firmness is necessary in some situations, so use the appropriate dose level for each scenario.

Finally, take a positive approach to each day and, without being stepped on, try to be as helpful to others as possible. By simply improving your self-respect and self-esteem and by believing in your morals and values, you'll never be a doormat again.

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